Running for a reason
I started running in 2011. Kind of. My world was in total chaos and I wanted to do something for someone else. Anyone else. I needed to not be me. I got a post card in the mail inviting me to take part in Team in Training for LLS. I signed up. I wasn’t really sure what I was getting into. I trained, but not as much as I wanted to or even should have.
I was never an athlete, I was always the clumsy one. Last one picked for everything. I always quit before it got too tough. My training was a bit like that. I didn’t quit, I didn’t give up. But I didn’t give in to the run all the way either. I didn’t leave it all on the track as it were. I raised the money, or my husband donated most of it. I finished the Rock n Roll half in Seattle. But I didn’t run as much as I dreamed. Self-sabotage, quit on me before my body did. I loved it, somewhere around mile 5 my brain shut off. All that chatter and self doubt went away, all the pain of the past year didn’t exist. I found the runner’s high and I liked it. Strange considering I walked half the half.
I knew I wanted to keep going, get better. But I also knew I couldn’t just do it for me. I quit on me. I needed to do it for something else. Then I learned about Team Challenge for CCFA. I have a younger sister with Crohn’s Disease, perfect fit. Signed up and started planning for the Vegas Rock n Roll. Then came Addie, beautiful grand baby in need of a home. She came to live with us. Training came to a halt. I couldn’t justify going for a run after being away from her all day. I did run in Vegas, not very good. Dehydration was icky, my kidney function was wonky. Stress fracture. Not too good.
I was grounded for 2012. Wanted to be home after work for my family. My body has gone through several flare phases, fatigue and body pains. So very exhausted and achy. So no running still. Then I realized I hurt anyway, whether I sit on the sofa or run. Why not run? But then it is just about me, and how do I take myself away from the family?
Fast forward to a few months ago, and lots of failed attempts to get back running. CANCER is back. My big sister’s cancer that is. I can’t cure cancer, not anymore than I can cure Crohn’s. But I can run, kind of. I can try to raise money too. But I can give my money too. So here I am running, not even kind of, real running. I have dedicated 2013 to kicking cancer’s can. I am donating $1 for every mile I race and $.50 for every mile I train to Stand Up 2 Cancer. Maybe it is just dollars and pennies, but it will rack up. So are my miles.
It is working too. Running for a reason is really working for me. I have managed to get at least 3 days of running in a week. I am starting a 10k training program and I am right on point. In fact I can actually run for a half hour without stopping. I have never in my life done that. The other day I actually ran through a cramp. I didn’t give up on me. I can’t. I have to do this for JoAnne. I can’t let her down, can’t be a quitter. Not this time. I run for something.
Today is just a 2 miler, but it is a good day to run