Running with chronic ___________

So I have started this post a couple times. But I always shut it down before I get too far in. I keep feeling like either a jerk or a martyr. But I really want to put out there what it is like to get off your bum when you are not a born athlete and you have a strike or two against you in the body department.

I don't think I am a great authority on the subject. I certainly have not crossed a finish line with stage 4 cancer, or run a marathon on my hands. I am not that incredible or inspiring, I am truly humbled by those who are.

I love this man, don't know who he is. But he is awesome!

But what I am is a work in progress. Incredibly human with a body flawed by disease, diet, and lifestyle. I am bound and determined to change all that, but I am finding that it can be more of a struggle than I had planned. I also think there are more mortals out there like me, struggling to break bad habits and embrace our own inner greatness.

I really feel like I have no excuse not to try. Yes, I live with chronic pain and fatigue. Yes, I have less than perfect kidney function and take 3 pills a day to keep my blood pressure in a normal range. BUT I don't have cancer, I am not on dialysis, I am not bed ridden, I am not dying today. And guess what, the best way to avoid all those things is to get off my butt and change my lifestyle and diet. (I repeat this paragraph to myself regularly. I tend to need regular kicks in the bum.)

I love to run. I love the way it feels after the second mile in, when everything shuts off. I struggle with starting the first mile. I have a tendency to let my aches and pains get in the way. The cold weather is really hard, I am so stiff and sore. Treadmill? Forget it, I get so bored that it becomes physically painful, weird I know.

I keep thinking I can catch up on the weekends. Problem is Saturday is grocery day. By the time I am done with that I am exhausted. 3-4 hours of combat shopping wears a girl out. Sunday forget it. It is all I can do to get dressed and make dinner before everyone comes over.

But I learned something this week. As I went on my impromptu trail run. Training Plans/Schedules like treadmills suck. At least for me. Instead of doing less than the scheduled run I skip if I can't do it all in the time I have available. Sometimes my time availability is dictated by the clock, by my family needs but most often by what my body can handle. So I am tossing out the training plan. I am replacing it with my plan, for the next few weeks I will run 30 min a day 3 days a week, and 60 minutes on weekend. Weekend runs will be tossed aside for races however.

One size doesn't fit all. Maybe this post didn't end up so much about my aches and pains. Never fear, I am sure that those posts will be just as plentiful here.

Meanwhile I will continue to rack up miles because... I don't have cancer. But someone I love does.